I really thought 2020 was my last year of blogging. I really did. I was tired of it. Didn’t want to pay the annual fee. Arthritis in my fingers. Nobody cares what I write. Blahblahblah.
But now I am of a different mind. Maybe because of the encouragement I received from you friends. (Thank you.) Maybe because it is harder to make firm decisions in this COVID world. Maybe I just don’t want to be a quitter.
It’s simple: I like to write, I need to write.
I renewed my subscription.
The Psalmist wrote, “I have taken my stand and I will publically praise the Lord.”*
This blog is my ‘stand’ — and I can’t sit down.
Two days ago my first 14-day quarantine ended. (I say ‘first’ because I imagine there might be others. I was isolating after my trip to Dallas where several family members fell sick.)
That was a happy ending and I got to hug Little Pookie and The Grandboy and yesterday we pretended it was Christmas Day and we opened gifts and cooked and overate and walked to the park and flew toy planes together.
I love that word together.
Of course, not all endings are happy ones. The company my parents founded, Premier Designs, is ending, that is sad, and at the same time, my parents’ home was sold.
I wish we could have some kind of memorial service. I wish we could gather and tell stories and laugh and cry and thank God . . . together.
I have wished that often this past year.
I have missed being together.
I’ve been thinking about other endings in my life.
The end of high school. (I was excited.)
The end of college. (I was glad to be done.)
The end of our first baby’s life. (Tragic.)
The end of our family-as-we-knew-it when Daughter #1 went to college. (Very sad.)
The end of being a full-time mom when Daughter #4 left home eight years later. (I felt ready for that.)
My mother’s end of life on earth. (Sad.)
The end of our life in Bolivia. (Hard but good.)
The end of our time in Ethiopia. (Sudden.)
The end of our Ireland Adventure. (Bitter-sweet.)
The end of being a missionary. (A big adjustment.)
Pondering these ‘endings,’ I see two things in common:
1. The Goodness of God. In all these experiences of change, God proved He is good. He sustained me, encouraged me, and always guided me to the next season, where there was more of His great goodness.
2. Spiritual Growth. When I paid attention during the endings of my life, I grew in knowing God better and in loving God more. Repeatedly I had to let go and let God be God.
2020 has ended, but the pandemic has not. (That’s an ending we all long for!)
I expect the unfulfilled desire for together-ness will continue for some months.
But I know without a doubt that spiritual growth and God’s goodness will never end.
I look forward to seeing what God is going to do in 2021.
I’m glad I have taken back my ‘stand’ to publicly praise the Lord.